Welcome to the Club!

publication date: Feb 7, 2008

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author/source: Jennifer Tankersley

There is this club called motherhood.  Before you join the club, you are told only the barest of details.  This clubs stands as a secret sorority of women to all young girls.  As girls mature and come closer to meeting the requirements of initiation into this club (pregnancy or beginning the adoption process), members begin to share some of the highlights of belonging:  possible pain at birth (but there are drugs for that), some sleepless nights (but they don’t last long), diapers to change (but that is a bonding time for mom and baby).  While all of that may be true, inductees may still feel blindsided once they are full-fledged members.  This club is exclusive.  Only members of the female sex may have the privilege of being called a mother, so mothers yearn for the day when friends, sisters, and even daughters accept the challenge of motherhood and have children of their own.  It is not just new members to this club that can feel somewhat betrayed by those who have gone before.  There seems to be a tier-system established where little information is release for fear that potential members may decide they have gone far enough.  For example, a rather new member who has a 10-month-old baby might have appreciated being let in on the secrets of giving up one’s own self to the cries and whims of an all-consuming (albeit cute and lovable) little being.  When she learns she is going to advance to the second tier, she is confident that she now knows how to take care of a baby.  Little does she know that this tier can be even more challenging because she now has to divide every bit of time and energy between the demands of a newborn and even greater demands of a toddler or preschooler.  Sadly, because of the fear that friends, sisters, or daughters may not pursue advancement if they learn of the difficulties facing them, long-standing members withhold useful information and new moms are left wondering why nobody told them it would be this hard.  Maybe our gender has come to the realization that a warning would serve little to no purpose.  Women have a strong internal predisposition to nurturing a child of our own and most women who join the club of motherhood would not resign their position or turn back time for anything.  Most mothers are fully prepared to tackle the demands and challenges even without having been properly tutored.  Of course, it may not be long before a new member has an opportunity to talk to a potential member about her involvement in the club.  What will she say?  “I love it!  And you will, too!” 

Jennifer Tankersley is the creator of List Mama Blog: Lists of Lists for List-Lovin’ Mamas and  ListPlanIt.com where you can find 250 lists and planning pages including cleaning schedules, daily to do lists, grocery lists, and holiday/party planning to put your world in order.