My community has begun to cultivate a parent community through a series of workshops held in a local school. I went to the first one and came away with several things that I have stored away. One of my favorite things we did was to participate in an exercise where our facilitator asked us what qualities we would like to see in our children at the age 30. We closed our eyes and imagined our fresh-faced children as adults, then yelled out adjectives as she scribbled them furiously onto a large flip pad. When she was done, we looked at the pad and she said, “These are all great qualities. In order for your children to own them, parents must consistently model them.” Children learn from their parents. We are their greatest influences on behavior. Here are some of the qualities that made it on the flip board.
- Honest
- Hard-working
- Responsible
- Kind
- Generous
- Reliable
- Happy
- Loving
- Self-Confident
- Self-Aware
Not one person mentioned a big house or a fancy car. We all seemed to agree that seeing our children happy would be one of our greatest joys. What qualities do you hope to see in your child(ren) at the age of 30?
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Love this!!
love this! What a great idea & I think I'll post these & other things on my fridge, so we always know our direction as a family. thanks!
Great list! I would add "Independent" and move up the time frame. No reason people can't learn, model & understand the importance of these characteristics far younger than age 30.
Brethart's perspective -
I believe that the period from 3 - 13 is the "perception" decade - where you really only develop how you percieve your environment and develop the core values that you will keep with you your entire life.
The real character development is accomlished by 33 - being the decade from 13 - 33 is the "self discovery" decade - Where you discover who you are (strengths, weaknesses...what you like, dislike.
From 33 - 43 is the time period where you have the opportunity to overcome that prior development if needed. It seems that once you're 43 the desire and sometimes ability to overcome that development has dwindled.
So, for your younger children - show them "how the world works - and what their place is in the world - help them decide what is right and what is wrong - what is good and what is bad - why they should be polite and nice - when they should not. Show them how adults should act and how children should act..."
For your older children find opportunities for them to discover what they can and can't do - what they like and dislike. Allow them to take risks - let them exceed and fail at anything they want to accomplish - be patient with this process.
For your adult children, realize that they already know what they should and shouldn't do - support them as they decide and discover what they really want out of thier lives.
It sounds like a great community. What a great idea to participate in workshops. I'm sure with all the effort you are putting into helping become a better parent, your children will have all those qualities and more.